Things are happening in my life. I don’t like it. My dad might leave. My mom is becoming a wreck. My brother isn’t helping anything. I’m stuck in the middle. I just need something that goes right. For ONCE in my life, I need something that DOESN’T end in flames. Sure, there are some things that go well but they are plagued with hardship along the way! Examples:

My watch in the last post? Battery’s on the fritz and I needed to pay $20 to get a new band because the original one didn’t fit.

Airline, the last play. We weren’t sure if it was going to go on because we were pretty close to the deadline and some people STILL didn’t know their lines.

Otakon: The con as a whole was awesome. The last day just sucked. Bar NONE.

How hard is it to find happiness in this damn world? I may put on a happy front outside my house but people don’t know what goes on inside. Inside my house, inside my mind…. All of it, invisible from those who don’t know. Those who do know have the right mind to keep their mouths shut. My parents are going to dinner in a few minutes and they’re gonna talk. About what? I’m not quite sure. I just want things to go back to the way they were. When I was a kid and these things didn’t happen to me. If they did, I didn’t notice because the veil of childhood perfection was always hiding those things.

I don’t remember the last time my dad left, because it happened twice before. Once when I was a baby for a couple months. The second time, I was nine or something. I don’t know why I don’t remember but I just don’t. If he leaves this time, I’m afraid he’ll just never come back.

I’m scared. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before. I don’t like it. I want it to stop. I really want…. I don’t know…. I can’t talk to my mom about it because she’d end up more of a wreck than before and my brother… No. Dad? I don’t know. I just don’t want to feel like I’m alone in this…..