Potentially Entertaining

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before on at least ONE of my other blogesque sites but my boyfriend from last post? We’re through. I ended it a couple weeks ago and then learned that he was flirting with other girls behind my back. -_-’ I can sure pick winners, eh?

Anyway, I’m also sure that the only people who read this either don’t live around me, don’t know who I am, or (hopefully) respect my privacy enough to not tell what I’m putting out for the entire world to see if they look hard enough.

I have no idea how horribly this can go… Oh well. *deep breath* If it sounds familiar, just ignore it.

I was recently in my school play as my standard “bit part” job. (guess that’s all I’m good at.) I developed a bit of a crush on one of my cast mates during the entire rehearsal process. It sucks because I know that my crush can never be actualized. AND we have 2 classes together on the same day. All I can do is catch fleeting glimpses and then stop staring before it gets awkward.

Not too bad, right? Well… She’s straight. Yep. SHE. My first tangible crush on a girl in a while. By tangible I mean I actually know the person. It’s also the first MEGA crush that I’ve had that is disappointing at the same time because, again, lack of actualization potential.

We are also two different breeds of girl. She’s dainty while I’m awkward. She’s cute while I’m (somewhat) butch. She’s able to work her curves while I hide them under baggy shirts. She’s a soprano while I’m a female tenor. She is beautiful, confident, and talented while I am…… not.

And the worst problem? I’m getting deeper into this. I don’t want to say I’m falling in love with her but…. the crush is definitely getting stronger. I have no idea what to do about it! I can’t just go up and tell her. That’d be awkward. I might be able to talk one of my friends to going up and asking but that’d be awkward as well. I’m not usually like this but I’m completely stumped!

I might as well give you the initials. R.H. People who know who I am should know who this is. And with that, I bid you all Adieu.

I don’t know why I’m telling all 4 people who might stumble upon this WONDERFUL(ly void) blog of mine buuuutttt….. I want to, so shut up.

I have gotten myself a new boyfriend. His name is Mike. Let me tell you how we met.

It started with his sister. I met his sister at the “New Student Orientation” night at college. She was in my group and we started talking. That,  however, is irrelevant. We traded FB info and she added me later that night. He looked at my page (for one reason or another) and determined that I was “cute” and asked me why I was single.  As I said in my previous post, it took him all of 3 hours of talking to want to be my boyfriend. I said no because I hadn’t met him yet. He said it was ok. Then ‘first date’

Met him for the first time at the mall. Hit it off. Not much to say there.

Second date, went to see a movie. Toy Story 3 to be exact. Wonderful movie. Fantastic, even. Afterwards I had about 45 minutes left in the mall and we met up with his sister again. We just hung in FYE for the entire time. Waste of time in this awesome mall but… oh well.

Long story short, we’re doing pretty well. One month was on the fifth. Nothing else much to say here. I’m leaving now. Buh bye.

About 4 months, if I’m not mistaken. I probably am but don’t yell at me about it.

Things have happened. I’m in college now. Duel enrollment, mind. What is that, you may ask? Well for me it means that every other week my guidance assistant time will have to be cut short for my grandmother to pick me up and WISK me off to the college campus to take my course that starts @ 12:30 and ends at 1:45, giving me half an hour to screw around and then go to whatever after school function I am participating in.

While on my campus tour I started talking to this awesome girl named Megan. She is a new friend. And her brother, who was looking at her computer screen, noticed who she was adding on facebook and decided to add me as well. And called me cute.

Here’s what I’m talking about. It took him the entirety of 3 hours for him to want to call me his “gf”. Apparently my feminine charms, read as “liking and not liking the things he likes and doesn’t like”, have seduced him into wanting to go on a double date with his sister and her boyfriend. Maybe even going to the mall later this week. I’ve never met this guy. I kinda like this guy. He seems pretty chill so I accepted his offer for a double date. Weird, huh?

Other thing… I’m going out of town later this week. My family is heading to Cooperstown New York for a baseball tournament my brother’s team is in. I, however, am heading in the exact opposite direction and going to Williamsburg Virginia with my Grandparents and several random relatives for a week. awesome.

The reason for this is because it’s either be stuck in a town that is built on baseball with no internet and the most interesting thing there is the baseball hall of fame OR be in a town that is built on history with plenty of internet and the most interesting thing there is LOTS OF STUFF AND my aunt is a hairdresser so I’m getting a free haircut and root touch up while I’m there. The pros outweigh the cons by an immense amount.

Alas, I fear that I must leave for now. It is 1:15 in the morning and I want to sleep. G’night!

Let’s start off with “Hey! Is Venus really updating again? So soon?” Well, since this is a new post, yes. Yes I am updating so soon. It’s because I have a good reason.

It has been a couple years since I had discovered that I was bisexual. Today I went over to my cousins house and she had a friend over. I took one of my video games over and just played it for most of the time I was there. The GameCube was in my other cousins room, which was right next door. Here I was, just playing my game, when my cousins friend (who is a girl and about…. I’ll say 14) just sits down next to me. Watching me play. Left a couple minutes later. I thought nothing of it.

Few minutes later she came back, my cousin in tow. She sat down, cousin sat down. A few minutes and shifts into more comfortable positions later, my cousin was in relatively the same spot but I was lying on my side and her friend (who I shall call Lexi from here on) was lying in pretty much the same exact way. Directly behind me. I thought nothing of it (much) until my cousin mentioned it. That’s when things got interesting. By interesting, I mean funny to them and awkward to me.

It started with innocent comments and then got to some advanced things that I’m pretty sure only I understood. I got embarrassed and I think I blushed a little bit. It was a bit awkward, blushing like that at something a friend said but, that’s what happened. I played along, as to not hint that it was making me uncomfortable/a little turned on (yikes!)  but it did make things awkward and I stopped playing and left a little after that before I said something I’d regret later. Like something too sexual. Or revealing I was bi before I really wanted to. But… this is it. It just set.

Before I wasn’t 100% sure if I was bi, but now… I know for a fact that I am bisexual. I like boys and girls. I know that this will cause some friction with my family, it already has, and I’m fine with that. The only thing I’m somewhat worried about is when I need to tell my grandparents. One set is extremely religious, another has lost a son, in part due to his being gay, and the third…. I really don’t know. I think the third would be the most accepting.

Even though it will make my life harder and make some things different, it’s a part of me and who I am. Things will get harder but I am ready to face it with the best of them.

Anyway, that ends that. I’m going to sleep.

EDIT: It’s like…. 5:30 and I realized that I never mention Lexi in this post after saying I’ll call her Lexi from that point on…. hehe.

Things are happening in my life. I don’t like it. My dad might leave. My mom is becoming a wreck. My brother isn’t helping anything. I’m stuck in the middle. I just need something that goes right. For ONCE in my life, I need something that DOESN’T end in flames. Sure, there are some things that go well but they are plagued with hardship along the way! Examples:

My watch in the last post? Battery’s on the fritz and I needed to pay $20 to get a new band because the original one didn’t fit.

Airline, the last play. We weren’t sure if it was going to go on because we were pretty close to the deadline and some people STILL didn’t know their lines.

Otakon: The con as a whole was awesome. The last day just sucked. Bar NONE.

How hard is it to find happiness in this damn world? I may put on a happy front outside my house but people don’t know what goes on inside. Inside my house, inside my mind…. All of it, invisible from those who don’t know. Those who do know have the right mind to keep their mouths shut. My parents are going to dinner in a few minutes and they’re gonna talk. About what? I’m not quite sure. I just want things to go back to the way they were. When I was a kid and these things didn’t happen to me. If they did, I didn’t notice because the veil of childhood perfection was always hiding those things.

I don’t remember the last time my dad left, because it happened twice before. Once when I was a baby for a couple months. The second time, I was nine or something. I don’t know why I don’t remember but I just don’t. If he leaves this time, I’m afraid he’ll just never come back.

I’m scared. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before. I don’t like it. I want it to stop. I really want…. I don’t know…. I can’t talk to my mom about it because she’d end up more of a wreck than before and my brother… No. Dad? I don’t know. I just don’t want to feel like I’m alone in this…..

Venus is a happy panda! You wanna know why? Well I’M NOT GONNA TELL YOU!!!!

…..

Ok…. You win, I give. I got a Sailor Moon watch after getting one of the BIGGEST adrenalin rushes of my life waiting for that guy to stop bidding. I was like “Dude…. you better not bid again cause if you do, I’m done.” But he DIDN’T! and now I have an AWESOME SAILOR MOON WATCH!

Also on FaceBook, I got a pokeball in Pandora’s Box. It was cool. Then the COLTS WON! By ONE POINT! I’m coming to find you, domo!

I got my mom to pay for three more months of WoW. That was kinda cool.

Last thing. Firefox does not call pokeball as misspelled. That’s also kinda cool.

Yep. I’m done. Time to go get breakfast!

Here’s what happened. I checked my email today and saw that I had some new comments. Happy that I was getting noticed, I emails. Instead of something saying how funny/good it was or constructive criticism, I got this.

“you are so damn weird. You did get one thing right in this video though, you are ugly as shit.”

“like i my dog threw up on the carpet and it looked better than you, and smelled better too.”

“you are a nastty fuck. you sound like shit and when i see you i throw up a little bit in my mouth.”

“this is pathetic, sad, and awful. dont waste your time in the future, all you do is irritate people. Disgusting!”

This was all from the same person, so it was even more annoying!

Here are some truths that I know.

1) I’m not that attractive

2) I’m fat.

3) I’m weird

4) My voice isn’t the best thing in the world.

The first one I actually got was the pathetic and sad one. That was yesterday. I deleted it from my video and thought that was that. Of course not, with my luck! It posted three more times. The first two were on my Otakon 2009 video. The thing about my smell, that was just weird. I have a new video addressing this issue.  Just check pokemondramadorks youtube.

I’m serious. This is funny as all hell!

http://www.mikeonads.com/2008/07/13/using-your-browser-url-history-estimate-gender/

This site checks your browser history and estimates if you’re a boy or a girl.

“Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 50% Likelihood of you being MALE is 50%”

Should this say something? I don’t really know.

It’s been a tad bit of a while since my last entry, and some stuff has happened since then. Since there’ s so much stuff going on, I’m-a make a list!

1) I’m going to Florida:

What does this mean? I’m going to f-ing Florida, that’s what. On Thursday. After my Orthodontist appointment. On a plane. By myself. For three days.

2) Directly after Florida, I’m going to Myrtle Beach!

My brother has a baseball tournament in Myrtle Beach South Carolina so Maryland isn’t going to see me for a week and a half!

3) My mother is making me go to this AP camp… thing

I honestly have no idea what it’s about, but it’s free, so my mom says I’m going.

4) Two days after AP camp starts, my birthday magically appears!~

This is all in cronological order, mind you. For the past few years, I’ve had no birthday party for one reason or another. Mostly due to the fact that I had no friends until High School, but this year, I am!

5) OTAKON!

Otakon! The magical time of the year when Baltimore gets overrun by a tribe of NERDS!~ I wasn’t able to go last year, but now I am!

6) Now starts the stuff that has no place in the order!

I got a Sailor Moon CD and a bracelet for my cosplay. Also my mom said that I CAN get my hair dyed if I convince my dad to let me. AWESOME! All I need to do is let him get drunk and then ask him, tape record it, and then say “I have proof!” …… Or I could just ask.

Sailor Venus says! (insert giggle here)

Ok, I had another migraine attack yesterday that started around the middle of 3rd period. It was a minor headache that was tagged off as “I need more sleep.” Then it just got worse and worse and 4th was a total nightmare. Light killed my brain, I felt pukey, one of my eyes got blurry while the other one was perfectly fine…And we were actually learning. It was not pretty. My hand shook to the point of I couldn’t write, I got very dizzy, it was also the day after I felt like crap in 4th. I felt the exact same way without the shaky and pukey and blurry.When I got home I basically just collapsed into my bed. Oh, yeah. I skipped lunch too. I wasn’t hungry and missed the line too. I wasn’t feeling perfect either, soo….

I collapsed on my bed and 2.5 hours later, I puked. I puked up stoumach acid and partially digested tylenol from 15 minutes before. And then my stoumach wanted to keep sending stuff up even though it was empty. I had dry heaves for 5 minutes and… ugh…. I felt better but…. it was awful…

The only good thing that came out of it was one of the administrators asked if I was ok and if I needed him to walk me to the nurses office. That was nice. Then I learned my mom is getting me a this new medicine that stops a migraine dead in its tracks.

In other news, I got $29 from behbehsittin today~!